Naughty (but Nice)
by William Easley
Summary: Written for Wendip Week 2017, this story is not in my usual continuity. Rated M because it's a future story, with a married Wendy and Dipper doing what married couples do. Like taking a very short, delayed honeymoon trip back to Gravity Falls. Not really explicit.


_This story is not in my usual continuity, but was written for Wendip Week 2017 and involves a married Dipper and Wendy doing what married couples do._

* * *

 **(Gravity Falls, July 6, 2020)**

Pioneer Day was the perfect date for their visit. Wendy and Dipper were attending college year-around—he'd already finished his B.A. degree in only two years, and he was now working on his Master's, and she would have her bachelor's degree in hand in another four months—but Pioneer Day fell on July 6, and they had an extra-long Fourth of July break from college down in California, so the timing was ideal.

Also, it was a good time to visit for other reasons. One plus was that Pioneer Day drew everyone, and that meant everyone, downtown. The Shack was closed and all the family, even Abuelita and the Ramirez kids, were in town, and no tourists would come wandering up the drive. Grunkles Stan and Ford had sailed off somewhere on another expedition. Mabel and her new husband were enjoying a two-week trip to Ireland, their honeymoon.

So, Dipper and Wendy had the Shack, privacy, and most important, each other.

In the dappled shade of the bonfire clearing, Wendy stretched languorously. "What was that, our third time?"

"Mm. Let's count it up: Once up in my old attic bedroom."

"Check. That was good except for the splinters." She rubbed her butt and made a face.

Dipper nodded. "Probably should have used the bed. Then once on the counter next to the cash register."

Wendy punched the air. "Yes! I always wanted to do that! More fun than driving a tank!"

"And now here in the grass, where you once told me you were too old for me."

Wendy lay on her side beside him, lazily stroking his bare chest. "Guess I was wrong, huh?"

He nuzzled her. "So glad you were."

"Well," she said with a contented sigh, "What with starting college so soon and all, we didn't ever get a honeymoon, but this kinda makes up for it."

"Morning's getting on. Let's get dressed," Dipper suggested.

She pouted. "Aw."

"You don't want to kill your husband before our third anniversary," he said, kissing her.

She still didn't make a move to retrieve her scattered clothing. "Where should we go next? Lake?" Wendy suggested. She really liked the water.

Dipper shrugged. "We could try it, but I'll bet there are people around, swimming and boating. How about that hot spring up in the mountains?"

"Mm. Too far to hike," she said. "Being back in Gravity Falls makes me want to be all lazy and irresponsible again."

"I … think we covered the 'irresponsible' part," Dipper said, chuckling. "Hey, hand me my shorts, please."

"I would," Wendy said, making no visible effort, "but—ugh!—I can't reach them. She grinned. "You can roll over me and get 'em for yourself, though."

"Um … I think I can stretch."

A few minutes later, fully dressed, they strolled down the Mystery Trail, hugging each other in the way Dipper used to think sappy when he was younger and saw teen couples walking linked like that. "So," he said, "next year I'll have my Master's. Think you could stand it if I stayed in school another two years for my doctorate?"

"Stood it so far, dude! I've decided I'm gonna take that one-year master's program in environmental science myself. Shouldn't be hard—I've already taken the undergraduate equivalents of most of the courses for the comp-exam track, got an A in all of them. Normative is two years, but I'll bet I can nail it in a year and a half, tops."

"I'm betting a year. Go for it," Dipper said. They stood in front of the Shack, holding hands and just looking at it. "Same-y, but different-y, as Mabel says."

Wendy hugged him. "Yeah, Soos has the place really fixed up nice. It's nearly twice the size it was."

"Top tourist draw in Oregon last year."

"Soos and Melody are so happy. Didn't he want seven kids?"

Dipper grinned. "Yep, one to love for each day of the week."

"Well, four more to go. They'll make it!"

He kissed her cheek. "We'll get started ourselves whenever you want. What next?"

She sighed. "Let's go back inside for a last look around. I just love this old place so much."

"Um," Dipper said, "I think I might need a little more recuperation before—"

She bumped him with her hip. "Nostalgia, man, not lust! C'mon, just one more walk-around."

They sauntered through the Museum, laughed at the Sascrotch—Soos had recently given him new designer underwear—and then, on impulse, dug out the electron carpet. "What do you think, Dip?" Wendy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Maybe some other time," Dipper said. "Right now, it would seem, I don't know, kind of weird."

She laughed. "When were _you_ ever worried about weird, big guy?"

Hey, they'd been married for nearly three years, so what the heck. Then, having swapped bodies, they roamed around a little more, joking and laughing and somehow feeling completely at home in each other's skins. "Time to change back, I guess," Wendy said in Dipper's body.

They had returned to where they left the carpet, in the gift shop, and everything seemed quiet, empty. Dipper, in Wendy's body, said mischievously, "You know, I just might change my mind about that weirdness bit. I just realized there's still one place we haven't visited."

"Huh?"

He twitched the curtain aside. "Roof time! Roof time!"

Wendy, in his body, laughed. "Up where we might be seen?"

"Don't lame out on me!" Dipper said. "You know you want it!"

"Pret-ty naughty," she said, but she climbed the ladder.

 _I ought to work on my butt muscles,_ Dipper thought, climbing up behind her and seeing his own body from the rear. They emerged on the roof—Soos had nailed the big red S of the Mystery Shack sign permanently to the shingles, so the sign still read MYSTERY HACK, just as they remembered—and they scrambled to Wendy's old retreat on the flat roof over an attic dormer window. The cooler was still there, but some storm in the intervening years must have blown away the lawn chair..

"You really up for this?" Dipper asked, beginning to take off the flannel shirt and wondering about how to unhook a bra by reaching behind. "Not _too_ weird for you, is it?"

"You darin' me?" Wendy asked with a broad grin as she shed Dipper's vest.

He said, "Sure am—Mr. Pines."

She arranged their discarded clothing into an improvised pad and said, "OK, then let's see how the other half lives—Mrs. Pines!"

They attracted a woodpecker's beady-eyed interest, but at least no Gnomes. And later, lazing up there in the late-morning sun, Dipper said, "You know, we shouldn't have done that. It was really very, very—"

"Nice," Wendy insisted. "Nice in a whole different way, but man! In fact, now I'm curious. I'd like to swap back and, you know—climb back up and try for double nice!"

The carpet got a lot of use that day.

* * *

 _The End_


End file.
